Career day
by Mommy Silver
Summary: Career day at the preschool of Midgar, and little Kadaj brings daddy Reno to school to tell everyone about the epic job of the Turks...


**Author:**** Silver Winged Dragon**

**Editor: Miss Macabrepinkkkiller from DA**

**Pairing: Reno x Aerith**

**Warnings: foul language, women in charge, the remnants?**

**Alternative title: Why Turks and career day don't mix**

**As requested by the lovely Miss Macabrepinkkiller, a story revolving around the pairing Reno and Aerith. Read it and review! Or else the Turks will maim you! **

**Evening at the Sinclairs**

'It's career day tomorrow.'

Shrugging, Reno ate his carrots. It was either to eat carrots, or do the house hold choruses of the children for not eating carrots. He would never hear the end of it.

'Oh. And that means?'

'That little Kadaj will take you to school tomorrow, to tell other kids what you are doing for a living.' Aerith stated happily as she took another bite of her home grown dried tomatoes.

His fork was stopped mid air. Than it sank to the plate and clattered on it and the carrot flew away straight onto Loz' nose.

'Excuse me? Was that necessary?' Raising a brow Aerith imagined Reno washing the dishes, cleaning the floors, gardening… no. not gardening… doing laundry and preparing dinner… no, not dinner… and also not laundry for that matter. Her dress would end up purple and his blouse pink.

Then again… the idea of a pink blouse with the black suit pleased her… Tseng would die from laughter – probably the first time laughing in his entire life – and she could blackmail him forever and ever!

Little Kadaj, little Yazoo and little Loz stared at him with teary eyes.

The three little Remnants, called back from the Life Stream, like Aerith, pouted severely.

It didn't work.

'Choruses…' singing Aerith smirked her mean smile at her husband, 'Choruses…'

'Okay! But what do you expect me to say?! Do you know the line of duty of a Turk?!' He splurged out, spitting chewed carrot and steak everywhere onto the table and diners.

Yazoo bit back with an "IIIIEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW" and tried to comb mashed carrot out of his hair.

Loz begun to tear even more, quickly hugged by Aerith.

Kadaj glared daggers at Reno.

Loz begun to wail, followed by Aerith: 'Now you've done it Mr. Sinclair! CHORUSES FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!'

'Like it wasn't hell already…'

**T****he next day…**

'You may sit down Danny… Now Danny's daddy is a fireman. Who wants to be a fireman?'

At the teacher's question all kiddies hands were raised eagerly.

Reno mumbled, 'Yeah, and they all want to be policeman and doctor and carpenter and whatsoever… original…'

'Now Kadaj papa is a… a…' The teacher became pale as snow as he read the description on the form in front of him, 'Turk!' he tried to bring it as happily as he could.

Every kid turned pale. Kadaj' papa a Turk?

Lean and mean, Reno stepped forward, 'okay kiddo, do your best.' Or worst, for that matter.

Kadaj begun, as he stood in front of the class, 'well… my daddy is a Turk! Turks are mean and bad and foul and do dirty jobs!'

'Like porn?' Reno slapped himself in the face as some stupid kid dared to interfere.

'No. But that's an option.'

'Mr. Sinclair!'

'Turks are lean mean fighting machines. We spy with our little eye and if we get a message to kill you…'

'A massage? You can kill with a massage?'

'sit down Tiffany!'

'But Mr. Teacher, I wanna know!'

'It's "I want to know.", Tiffany.'

With a pout the girl gave up, muttering a little bit.

Reno sighed, this would be a long… long… long… five minutes from hell.

'Do continue Mr. Sinclair.'

'Thank you.' Like he needed the teacher's permission… as if the teacher could control this wild pack of wolves staring at him in awe, 'well… where was I? Oh yeah. We spy with our little eye and if we get the note to kill you, we kill you in such a way not even your mama can find you!'

'What is kill?' A little girl with a silly expression and pigtails stared at him.

'That's when I put you in the closet with the Boogieman!' Reno smirked.

'Noooooo!' she begun to wail, 'he's mean!'

'Melly, there is no such thing as a boogieman…' the teacher gave Reno a death glare, who enjoyed the scene. Finally he held power over these kiddo's.

'You know the Boogieman?!' a fat kid spoke up, 'Cool!'

'He likes fat kids the most!'

'Mr. Sinclair!' The teacher grumbled. 'Please Kadaj, continue.' And glared daggers at the Turk.

'but if you are a good boy and a good girl, they won't come for you.'

'So… you're the opposite of the Santa Clause?' a kid with glasses spoke up wisely, 'Santa Clause rewards with presents, you reward with sparing our lives?'

'Sort of.'

'So… when do you come for us?'

'When you don't finish your plate.' The kid gulped and sweat-dropped at the very serious answer of the Turk.

'Now Mr. Sinclair, what does a Turk do more?'

'We guard our boss, Mr. Shinra. That's President Shinra to you.' Smirking he spoke about his boss, 'if he gets shot at we protect him and we kill the man who did so.'

'By putting him in the closet with the Boogieman?' the kid with the pigtails spoke.

'Yep!' Damn… the silly kid had a mean streak… could be recruited for the next generation of Turks, Reno thought.

'But Mr. Teacher said there is no such thing as a Boogieman…' it begun to dawn somewhere in her mind. It begun to dawn in Reno's mind too that she wasn't that smart after all.

'Now Mr. Sinclair means that he does mean, mean, really mean things to the mean man.'

'Like saying he must never do that again or to stand in the corner with a donkey hat on?'

'Yes, some sort indeed.'

'But… why did he said that there was a boogieman?'

Reno snorted annoyed.

'Because he wants to bring it nicely, right, Mr. Sinclair?'

'Like what the fuck ever…'

'Mr. Sinclair!'

'He said the F-word!' a little girl piped up before squealing in horror. The class joined in with the squealing and soon all hell was loose…

'Get out of the classroom! To the principle! Now!'

**At the principle's office…**

'Thank you for coming here on such short notice, Mrs. Sinclair.'

'Please, do call me Aerith.'

'Good, Aerith.' The principle folded his hands and stared at her very serious, 'I'm displeased with your husbands behaviour.'

_You're not alone in there_. 'Oh my, why so?'

'It may affect the behaviour of your sons.'

'What did he say or do?'

'He said a very bad word. Now I have to explain dozens of parents why it all happened and they will not be pleased by that. And when they are not please, I am not pleased. And when I am not pleased, you won't be either.'

'What. Did. He. Say?' The last remaining ever peaceful Cetra was about to loose her calm.

The principle looked at the waiting room in front of his office and than back at Aerith, making sure no kid would hear him. 'FUCK.'

_*LE__ GASP! EPIC SHOCK!*_ 'He said what?!'

'FUCK.'

'Now he said it twice!' Reno pointed at the principle, 'how come if he says it it's okay, and when I say it, it's bad?!'

'Because you said in front of children Mr. Sinclair!'

'And that's a problem because?' muttered the Turk with his arm folded over his chest.

'Because they are not supposed to learn such foul words!'

'But… but…'

'Shut your trap!' Aerith grumbled, 'choruses for the rest of your life and in the Life Stream if you continue like that.'

'but… but…'

'SHUT! UP!'

'….'

'Now Mrs. Sinclair, here's how I believe to finish this behaviour of your husband once and for all…'

**The next morning… at the Turks' office…**

'Where's Reno?'

'He was in Tseng's office.' With a foul smirk and funny lights in her eyes Elena answered his question.

*splurge* 'WHAT!?!' Rude spat out coffee as he overheard Elena's testimony.

'Yeah. In his office. Is that a strange thing?'

'It is.' i_when I hear it from your mouth._ /i

'And what the hell is wrong with my mouth?!'

i '...' _are you PMS-ing?_ /i'You're a… a…'

'Confirmed yaoist. Yes, I know…' deviously she licked her lips, 'but not in that fashion…'

'…' i_foul woman… two men together ain't right… two women on the other hand is…_/i

Behind his glasses Rude remained pokerfaced.

'Where's Reno?' Mr. Shinra held a bunch of files in his hands, 'I called him a zillion times to pick up these files. He needs to enhance his handwriting… Wutaian syllables are easier to read.'

Elena and Rude both answered simultaneously: 'At Tseng's office.'

'Oh? And what for? Come, come Elena, I haven't got all day, you know.'

'Writing detention-work.'

'Detention-work? What did Reno do that he deserved this?'

'Well… Let's say that Reno has finally found his equal…'

Elena, as Number One Talkative Turk, told Rufus the entire story. Rude remained silent as ever.

'Thank the Life Stream! We can thank you Blondie for something.' With that said, Rufus left.

'Was that a joke?' Elena asked when Rufus had vanished into the corridors.

'I guess so…'

'He's scary.'

'For once, Elena, I agree.'

Finally Reno came rushing out. 'I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' he yelled epically, 'Finally, free of detention-work.'

'Like it was that hard.' Tseng muttered, 'quit your childish behaviour.'

'Ah man! You're just jealous you can't joke!'

'And don't let him joke! Rufus tried to, and he failed miserably!' Elena piped up.

'Zip it babble mouth.' How did Rufus do that? Appear from nowhere?

*grumble* 'Babble Mouth?!' Elena blurted out, as usual.

'Yes, you babble mouth. Didn't you hear him the first time?' Reno retorted quickly.

'Aargh… Reno, you're insatiable!' Frustrated she threw her arms in the air, and just right after that, her eyes remained fixed upon his shirt.

Rude's glasses, obviously tortured by the sight, shattered on sight, without Reno standing on it for once.

Rufus finally noticed too and shook his head, the man would never learn, but this time, he really went too far.

Tseng had for once another expression than the same stoic he ever had.

'Reno?'

'Yes Rufus?'

'Care to explain something…'

'Yes Rufus?'

'Why did you had detention? You're not in school anymore.'

'Ask Tseng. He and Aerith had a little get-together.' He grumbled, 'traitors.'

'Do I need to inform your wife?'

'NO! Not again!'

'What happened?' Rufus now became curious, smirking as he noticed something he hadn't seen before.

'He said Fuck in school.'

'School?'

'Yes… it was career day and Kadaj had to drag me along to class to tell class about the Turks' business.'

'Or else Aerith would maim him.' Tseng grinned, he too had seen it.

'And Reno?' By now, Elena went into a laughing fit.

'Yes Rufus?' Reno sounded as a child who wanted to get to his room but couldn't, because of his mommy calling.

'Why in the name of every Wutaian Emperor…' Rude's upper lip turned into a slight smile, this ought to be good.

'Yes?'

'Is your shirt pink?'


End file.
